I resigned myself to just ramble on every once in a while. I think we do that. In our minds these thoughts that bump into each other and scuttle around, we need to give them time to wind down and finally make some kind of order or sense of themselves, like chaos theory only dumbed down a lot so I can understand it. (Thanks Jurassic Park) I talked to a good friend tonight and found out he always wanted to be a writer. I can relate, but it's always the ones you least expect isn't it. He had a good notion or two and it got me to thinking about some of my own "notions." Whether or not they were good ones is yet to be seen and is in the eye of the beholder I suppose, but they were notions none the less. I got to wondering why I had never turned them into more than notions. My friend too couldn't come up with a good reason why he hadn't pursued his ideas either we both seemed to sit there in dumbfounded silence for a brief moment. We could go with the usual suspects I guess: pressure of society and fear of failure, no time, etc. I can only speak for myself of course but those are some big hurdles to clear whether we want to admit to it or not, which I suppose I am admitting to it at this point. Self-confidence is a bitch you know. The kind of bitch that stands up real defiant in a bright red dress and bold lipstick and laughs in the face of adversity one minute, then scampers away and hides in another when it gets to be too much. It's happened to us all, to deny it is to become that scampering bitch I would say, hiding behind a thick globby wall of bullshit and claiming we've never had a moment of doubt in our lives and stand tall no matter what. Gagith me with thy lipstick. Writing is a great way to empty the soul out, banish the thoughts to paper and make sense of them. I figure I may as well get back to doing it and if I have bouts of doubt well... I never looked good in a red dress anyway. Pastels perhaps...
And so after much contemplation, precious little of it productive, I decided I would revisit this here blog after a small hiatus, just pour things onto it, and see what comes out... And here it was... Some film Noir-ish stuff with a Jurassic Park reference... Still, could have been much worse. I could prattle on endlessly about the sorry state of affairs the world is in today, conveniently ignoring the last 12,000 years of human History which were equally ridiculous and troubling for those living in them. I could rant about the flavor of the week celebrity and his or her recent bouts with substance abuse, random sex (Giggity), and violations of various state statutes or vehicle codes. I could piss and moan- Yes, you're right, that's exactly what I'm doing...
Well, I guess the moral of the story is the whole "don't fear failure, take a risk, blah blah" kind of thing. We all fail. I've failed. As a matter of fact, I've become quite good at it over the years and have come to realize that (and I'm saying this to myself as much as to anyone else) its not so bad, and eventually it goes away so you can do it all over again. So I shall prattle on and piss and moan and write and sing and play, tra la la. After all, what's the worst that could happen? Don't answer that...
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it's from Sin City... Its a gal in a red dress. See what I did there?
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